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Valentine Jokes for Kids

January 6, 2011 16:48 by Barbara Shelby

 

These Jokes are fun to tell---but also great to use on  Valentine cards you make!  Put the question on the cover and the answer inside! Draw, paint, or decorate the card as the joke indicates...

_________

Q. What did the boy elephant say to the girl elephant on Valentine's Day?
A. I love you a ton!

Q. What did the boy bat say to the girl bat on Valentine's Day?
A. You're fun to hang around with!

Q. What did the boy cat say to the girl cat on Valentine's Day?
A. You're purrr-fect for me!

Q. What did the boy pickle say to the girl pickle on Valentine's Day?
A. You mean a great dill to me!

Q. What did the boy bird say to the girl bird on Valentine's Day?
A. Let me call you Tweet heart!

Q. What did the boy squirrel say to the girl squirrel on Valentine's Day?
A. I'm nuts about you!

Q. What did the girl squirrel say to the boy squirrel on Valentine's Day?
A. You're nuts so bad yourself!

Q. What did the boy rabbit say to the girl rabbit on Valentine's Day?
A. Somebunny likes you!

Q. What did the boy bear say to the girl bear on Valentine's Day?
A. I wuv you beary much!

Q. What do you call a very small valentine?
A. A valentiny!

Q. What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine's Day?
A. Cauliflowers!

Q. What did the boy bee say to the girl bee on Valentine's Day?
A. You are bee- utiful! Will you bee mine?

Q. What did the girl bee say to the boy bee on Valentine's Day?
A. I love beeing with you, Honey!

Q. What did the boy whale say to the girl whale on Valentine's Day?
A. Whale you be mine?

Q. What did the buck say to the doe on Valentine's Day?
A. You're a dear! (Deer)

Q. What did the boy owl say to the girl owl on Valentine's Day?
A. Owl be yours!

Q. What did the boy sheep say to the girl sheep on Valentine's Day?
A. I love ewe!

Q. What did the girl sheep say to the boy sheep on Valentine's Day?
A. You're not so baaaaaa-d yourself!

Q. What did the farmer give his wife on Valentine's Day?
A. Hogs and kisses!

Q. What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?
A. Ughs and kisses!

Q. What two words have a thousand letters in them?
A. Post Office!

Q. Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?
Because it's all heart.

Q. What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
 Forget-me-nuts.

Q. What did the letter say to the stamp?
You send me.

Q. What did the stamp say to the envelope?
A. I'm stuck on you.

Q. What is a vampire's sweetheart called?
A. His ghoul-friend.

Q. Why did the banana go out with the prune?
A. Because it couldn't get a date.

Q. What is a ram's favorite song?
A. I only have eyes for ewe, Dear

Q. What happens when you fall in love with a French chef?
A. You get buttered up.
 
Q. What is the difference between a girl who is sick of her boyfriend and a sailor who falls into the ocean?
A. One is bored over a man the other is a man overboard.

Q. If your aunt ran off to get married, what would you call her?
A. Antelope.
 
Q. Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?
A. No, but they had an apple.

Q. What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
A. I wanna hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand...

Q. What did the valentine card say to the stamp?
A. Stick with me and we'll go places!
 
Q. What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
A. I find you very attractive.

Q. What did the bat say to his girlfriend?
A. You're fun to hang around with.

Q. What did one light bulb say to the other?
A. I love you a whole watt!

Q. What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?
 A. I love you a ton!

Q. What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?
A. I'm sweet on you!
      
Q. Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine?
A. He fell in love with a pin cushion!

Q. What did the pencil say to the paper?
A. I dot my i's on you!

Q. Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?
A. Sure, they're very scent-imental!

KNOCK-KNOCK VALENTINE JOKES

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Frank.
Frank who?
Frank you for being my friend!

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Jimmy.
Jimmy who?
Jimmy a little kiss?

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Atlas.
Atlas who?
Atlas Valentine's Day is here!

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you!

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Luke.
Luke who?
Luke, I got a Valentine!

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