What do you get when you put three ducks in a box?
.....A box of quackers.
Why did the student eat his homework?
.....The teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
What did the hungry computer eat?
.....Chips, one byte at a time.
Why do fish avoid the computer?
.....So they don't get caught in the Internet.
What did the cannibal order for take-out?
.....Pizza with everyone on it.
How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
.....Footprints in the cheesecake.
I trained my dog not to beg at the table.
.....How did you do that?
I let him taste my cooking.
What's in an astronaut's favorite sandwich?
What do cats call mice on skateboards?
....."Meals on Wheels."
Why do you eat so fast?
.....I want to eat as much as possible before losing my appetite.
What did the mayonnaise say to the refrigerator?
.....Close the door, I'm dressing!
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
.....Between us, something smells.
Jack: Would you like some Egyptian Pie?
Jill: What's Egyptian pie?
Jack: You know, the kind mummy used to make.
The customer asked: "Do you serve crabs here?"
"Yes sir," replied the waiter. "We'll serve just about anybody."
What starts with "T" ends with "T" and is filled with "T"?
- School & Computers
- Crossing the Road
- Food Jokes
- Animals: Cats, Dogs, Elephants, Variety, Farm Animals
- Sports: Baseball-Football-General
- Jokes Insects, Fleas, Flies, Spiders
- Jokes: Weather, Flowers & Gardens, Birds, Bees, Frogs
- Patriotic (Labor Day, Memorial Day, Flag Day, Fourth of July, Patriotic Theme, Uncle Sam, Presidents Day)
- All Winter time Jokes: Good All Winter, Reindeer, Christmas
- St. Patrick’s Day
- April Fools Day