We must communicate to our children every day that they are loved, says Sandra Magsamen, an expert on living your life with heart. But, sometimes words alone are not enough to express what we most want to say. Here are some ways Sandra says you can make lasting bonds with your children that will last a lifetime.

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1. THE BASICS
  •Hug! Never stop hugging your child. A hug connects physically and emotionally like nothing else.
  •Read lots of books to your children. Put time aside each day to look at, read and share stories. You can read the same ones over and over again.

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2. DANCE, sway and move as you hold your child and provide the comfort and connection that gentle rocking and movement brings. Get down on the floor and play, make puzzles, finger paint, roll around and laugh together. And tell them you love them, that they are special, that they are unique and that they are a gift

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3. SING OUT LOUD
Find your song and sing it. Don't worry if you don't have the pipes of Aretha, just sing and I promise your child will love it. Find "your song," the song you love to sing to your child. It will soothe them "and you"on those days where everything seems to be going wrong.

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4. WRITE YOUR CHILD A LETTER soon after they are born. (Or start it now!) Fill it with your thoughts, hopes, dreams and the experience of bringing a new life into the world. Place your note in an envelope and inscribe, "On the day you were born" on it, and tuck it in a journaling-type book.

 

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5. EACH YEAR on your child's birthday write

another letter to him/her--fill it with the memories, milestones, dreams, events, ideas and the life that you and your family have created throughout the year. When your child grows up and has a place of his or her own, present the book and continue to send the letters on your child's birthday. You will have written a book and told the story of two very special people: you and your child.

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6. IN SOAP OR LIPSTICK, write, "You're the best!" or "Have a great day!" on the bathroom mirror where your child will see it when brushing his or her teeth. And at breakfast, try spelling out, "I love you" with individual letters from alphabet cereal. Of course, you will have to pick through the box to find eight letters, but the message will then have your personal touch. Surprise your son with his favorite cookies in his lunch box-the sugary ones that he regularly begs for in the grocery aisle, but rarely receives. 

Or reach for a banana, like my friend did to keep connected to her boys. "During elementary school, I'd pack their lunches every day and I'd always put a banana in each bag. One day I started writing little notes-jokes and riddles on the banana peel with a permanent pen. The boys loved it and looked forward to their lunchtime surprise. I loved it, too, knowing that as I was thinking about them at lunchtime, they would be thinking of me. Of course, by middle school, they asked me to stop sending notes on their bananas. They were 'too old.' The boys really did get a kick out of it!"

If bananas aren't your thing, simply write a note, a riddle or cut a comic that your child loves from the newspaper. Your child will enjoy getting that extra-special something from you and all his or her classmates will be waiting each day to see what's next.

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 7. OTHER ARTFUL WAYS TO STAY CONNECTED 
  • Make Friday nights game night-relax together with pizza, some healthy snacks and competition. Invite your children's best friends to join you.
 
  • Make a family history book using favorite words, photos and souvenirs.
 
   • I love a good game of black out: Turn off every light in the house (including night-lights and VCR lights) and play hide-and-seek. Prepare to have a blast tripping all over each other and even getting spooked a time or two.
 
   • Plant a garden with butterfly bushes and enjoy the visits of hundreds of butterflies.

    • Create a revolving art gallery of your kid's work in your home. Show them you think their art is a masterpiece. String wire between two hooks and hang the art with clothespins

   • Turn off the TV and put on your own plays and musicals, and share stories.
 
   • Turn on the soothing sounds of jazz and watch your family relax. Make a CD of your family's favorite tunes to be played on long car rides or rainy Sunday afternoons.
 
   • Create new everyday rituals: warm vanilla milk, a story or a kiss on the forehead before bedtime-special touches that will help your child drift off to a peaceful sleep.
 
   • Plant a garden together, and then watch as the seeds grow.
 
   • Make a video of your grandparents. Interview them about their lives and ask the funny questions that will brighten their faces and make them laugh. This project will become a cherished family heirloom. To read the other ideas visit  Oprah.com

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Ways to Stay Connected with Older Kids...

   • Visit a make-your-own-pottery place and create a plate for each person in your family, or several pieces to celebrate a special event.

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   • Bake together. Make ice cream. Create an Italian feast of fresh pasta, bread and tiramisu, with a famous aria playing in the background.

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   • Bring armloads of comforters, pillows and blankets in front of the largest TV in the house and have movie night, all cozy together.

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   • Pick your own strawberries and make jam. Enjoy life. It's delicious.

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   • Build a campfire in the backyard (in a grill or fire pit), and roast hot dogs on sticks and make s'mores with chocolate bars, marshmallows and graham crackers. Sit around, tell stories and enjoy the night air and the flames as they warm your fingers and toes.

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   • Go miniature golfing together. Set up teams and prepare to laugh as children and adults alike compete for the lowest score. Give prizes to the winners, both old and young.

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   • Get tickets for your local professional, minor league or college baseball game. Spend an afternoon in the sun eating chocolate malts, peanuts and singing during the seventh-inning stretch. (If you get there early, you may be able to catch fly balls from batting practice.) Consider tailgating, and create and serve a feast from the trunk of your car.

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   • Go ice skating or to a roller rink and dance to the music booming over the loudspeakers.

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   • Check out the local public gardens in your area, perhaps one that serves Chinese tea or has acres of roses.

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   • Journey down to your local theater and support your neighborhood thespians as they perform in A Midsummer Night's Dream or Annie Get Your Gun.

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   • Has the fair come to town? Carnivals and fairgrounds are a good way to change your routine and celebrate your country roots.

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 • Bust out all of the board games you can find. Enjoy some healthy competition as you play. Fill bowls with popcorn, chips, nuts and chocolates for the competitors.

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   • Sing at home in Karaoke style. Crank up the tunes and laugh as everyone takes a turn singing their favorite song.

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MORE THINGS TO DO WITH YOUR KIDS!

Things to do BEFORE You're TEN!!!

1. Roll on your side down a grassy bank
2. Make a mud pie
3. Make your own play dough mixture
4. Read under the bed-covers with a flashlight
5. Make home-made potpourri
6. Grow flowers or herbs on a windowsill
7. Make some bird feeders
8. Build a sandcastle
9. Climb a tree
10. Make a tent in the living room
11. Make a painting using your hands and feet
12. Organize your own teddy bears' picnic
13. Have your face painted
14. Play with a friend in the sand
15. Make some bread
16. Make snow angels
17. Create a clay sculpture
18. Take part in a scavenger hunt
19. Camp out in the yard
20. Bake a cake
21. Feed a farm animal
22. Pick some strawberries and apples
23. Recognize five different bird species
24. Find some worms
25. Ride a bike through a muddy puddle
26. Make and fly a kite
27. Plant a tree
28. Build a nest out of grass and twigs
29. Find five different leaves in the park
30. Grow vegetables
31. Make breakfast in bed for your parents

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Your child has started school, but he still needs you to read to him at home. Your child will do better in school, and you'll enjoy the time spent together. Here are helpful tips for reading to and with young children in school, kindergarten through third grade:
 
• Keep reading to your child even when he can read. Read books that are too difficult or long for him to read alone.

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• Try reading books with chapters and talk about what is happening in the story. Encourage your child to make predictions about what will happen next, and connect characters or events to those in other books and stories.

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• Talk with your child about reading preferences that are beginning to develop. Ask whether she likes adventure stories, mysteries, science fiction, animal stories, or stories about other children. Encourage her to explain the reasons for preferences.

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• Talk with your child about favorite authors and help him find additional books by those authors.

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• Take turns reading a story with your child. Don't interrupt to correct mistakes that do not change the meaning.

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• Talk about the meaning of new words and ideas introduced in books. Help your child think of examples of new concepts.

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• Talk with your child about stories using the notions of the beginning, middle, and end of the story to organize thinking and discussion.

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• Ask your child to tell why a character might have taken a specific action. Ask for information from the story to support her answer.

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• Enjoy yourself and have fun. The most important thing you can do to help your child become a successful reader is communicate that reading is valuable and enjoyable.

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TIPS IN READING TO CHILDREN IN GRADES FOUR TO SIX
It is critical that your child keeps reading and being read to at this age. Young readers need to become practiced at reading, and the only way to get good at it -- is to practice!

Helpful tips for reading to and with children in grades four through six:
• Take turns reading a book with your child.
 
• Ask your child to compare a book to another familiar book. How are the characters alike or different? Do the stories take place in similar settings? How are the illustrations the same or different?
 
• ASK:
Ask what part of the story or book your child liked best and why.
Ask if your child liked the ending of the story. Why or why not?
Ask your child what type of mood the story or chapter in a book creates.
Ask how the author creates the mood. For example, does she use certain words, events, or settings that create a particular feeling? If your child has read more than one book by the same author, ask how the books are similar or different.
Source: www.nea.org

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A basic key in working with children--is the knowledge of child development! This category will provide information as timely topics arise-portions of  which would be appropriate to post at your information center or newletter.

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AGE LEVEL CHARACTERISTICS

EMOTIONAL: 6-8

  • Want Love, affection, and acceptance
  • Take themselves seriously 
  • Alternately aggressive and sympathetic
  • Fear imaginary creatures 
  • Fear being alone--girls show more fear than boys at the same age

 EMOTIONAL AGE 9-11:
 
   • Show loyalty to peers
  • Concerned over group recognition and approval, becoming more conscious of self
  • Find satisfaction in participation in community activities
  • Embarrassed to show affection
  • Assume a feeling of martyrdom with siblings
  • Enjoy making family plans
  • Influenced by praise 
  • Need to know they are of value to group

EMOTIONAL: AGE 12-15 

  • Can be moody, restless, and often fantasize
  • Less responsible due to fear of failure
  • Spend time alone
  • Interested in own bodies and personality
  • Devalue parents and turn to others
  • Can feel persecuted
 

LEARNING

 LEARNING: 6-8

  • Short attention span
  • Interested in fantasy and dramatic play
  • Enjoy reading independently
  • Not particularly interested in team games
  • Like to play house

LEARNING: 9-11

  • Vivid imaginations
  • Concerned with pets and collect everything
  • Want to learn more skills and do things for themselves
  • Need to have varied activites to fit their individual interests, otherwise quickly bored
  • Concerned about what other people think; Language more sophisticated 
  • Become interested in information, the world, and it's people.

LEARNING: 12-15 

  • Some youth don't begin things soon enough
  • Easily distracted 
  • Ignore adult help in planning unless tactfully given
  • Resent adult interference in activities
  • Less energy due to rapid growth
  • Interpret criticism from adults as personal
  • Like to go places

COMPETITION

 COMPETITION: 5-6 

 
  • Still into make believe, fantasy, and magical thinking.
  • Generally don't regard other children as rivals.
  • Easily frustrated when unable to do things as well as they would like.
  • Need to feel loved and secure when competing.

SUGGESTIONS FOR CAREGIVERS:
Play loosely structured games. Be flexible about rules. Keep the focus on fun!

 

COMPETITION: 6-8 

   • Begin to understand and play by the rules.
  • Compare themselves to friends to learn what is expected, but not to determine who is better.
  • Relate loss to self-esteem, especially if parents stress winning.
  • Need to feel secure when competing.

SUGGESTIONS FOR CAREGIVERS:  Should encourage youth to compete in areas in which they are interested. Stress skill development rather than winning. Help children set and meet personal goals. Discourage tantrums, cheating, and unethical behavior

COMPETITION: 9-10 years old

   • Children have a growing awareness of competition in the environment.
   • A better understanding of ethics and rules of competition.
   • Compare selves to others and formulate personal judgments.
   • Need to focus on achieving small personal goals one at a time, learn how to become a team player, and cope with disappointment and defeat
   • Need to be held accountable in following rules and good sportsmanship.

SUGGESTIONS FOR CAREGIVERS

   • Should encourage youth to compete in areas in which they are interested. 
   • Stress skill development rather than winning.    
   • Help children set and meet personal goals.   
   • Discourage tantrums, cheating, and unethical behavior

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RESEARCH: SPIRIT AND SELF ESTEEM GAMES NEEDS...
Ages 2 to 7

Certain games work especially well at meeting common needs for fun at different developmental stages. For example, our very young children live in the moment and moods can change instantly from extreme joy to demanding anger. When faced with children’s lack of coping skills we can respond in a manner to match their mood---or redirect and change their focus. With young children look for games that show a fun way of looking at life and encourage cooperation

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Ages 8 to 12...
During the middle years peer pressure begins to influence children’s spirits. The best games to help establish a high self-esteem is to play games that stay in touch with their own feelings. Games that explore ways of dealing with outside influences and encourage compassion for others—are also desirable.

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Ages 13 to 18

Young teenagers have a strong sense of self—even though it’s sometimes riddled with insecurity and doubt. Encourage games that are designed to increase their trust in themselves and in their own inner wisdom. Games that enhance a sense of the young teenager’s history and sense of kindness are also good.
Adapted from Spirit Games by Barbara Sher
John Wiley & Sons, Inc. 2002

 2/22/08 -ExchangeEveryDay

 

 

THE CHANGING NATURE OF PLAY

 

 

 

...Howard Chudacoff, a cultural historian at Brown University, discussed how play has changed. Up until recently children played outdoors, unsupervised engaged in freewheeling and imaginative play. However, today, children's play is more scripted by their toys, more directed by the media, and more protected by anxious parents. In the NPR interview, Chudacoff talked about how these changes in how children play also results in changes in their cognitive and emotional development...

"It turns out that all that time spent playing make-believe actually helped children develop a critical cognitive skill called executive function. Executive function has a number of different elements, but a central one is the ability to self-regulate. Kids with good self-regulation are able to control their emotions and behavior, resist impulses, and exert self-control and discipline.

"We know that children's capacity for self-regulation has diminished. A recent study replicated a study of self-regulation first done in the late 1940s, in which psychological researchers asked kids ages 3, 5, and 7 to do a number of exercises. One of those exercises included standing perfectly still without moving. The 3-year-olds couldn't stand still at all, the 5-year-olds could do it for about three minutes, and the 7-year-olds could stand pretty much as long as the researchers asked. In 2001, researchers repeated this experiment. But, psychologist Elena Bodrova at the National Institute for Early Education Research says, the results were very different.

Today's 5-year-olds were acting at the level of 3-year-olds 60 years ago, and today's 7-year-olds were barely approaching the level of a 5-year-old 60 years ago,' Bodrova explains. 'So the results were very sad.'

"Sad because self-regulation is incredibly important. Poor executive function is associated with high dropout rates, drug use, and crime. In fact, good executive function is a better predictor of success in school than a child's IQ. Children who are able to manage their feelings and pay attention are better able to learn. As executive function researcher Laura Berk explains, 'Self-regulation predicts effective development in virtually every domain.'"

Read or listen to the entire NPR segment, "Old-Fashioned Play Builds Serious Skills," (This would be a good one for your "Parents' Center". )

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From ExchangeEveryDay
WHAT IS SCHOOL READINESS?
July 21, 2008

The 30th Anniversary issue of Exchange (March 2008) included a Beginnings Workshop section on "School Readiness" with articles by Nancy Carlsson-Paige, David Elkind, Lilian Katz, and Marjorie Kostelnik. In this section, David Elkind observed...

 

"The phrase 'school readiness' was, until recently, most often used in connection with a child's preparedness to meet the demands of a first grade classroom. With the contemporary push down of the curriculum, readiness is now taken to mean the child's preparedness to meet the demands of kindergarten. Whether in regard to first grade or kindergarten, this way of thinking assumes that school readiness resides entirely in the child's head. It also assumes that readiness is primarily academic, namely, knowing one's letters and numbers. In addition, readiness is often taken to mean that a child has acquired his or her knowledge of numbers and letters through one or another form of academic instruction. Finally, another interpretation of readiness is that it is a matter of maturation and is related to age. While all of these ideas about readiness are understandable, they happen to be incorrect. They are a misunderstanding as to what readiness is all about....

"Readiness DOES NOT reside in the child's head. Likewise, the skills a child needs to succeed in most kindergartens are not knowing numbers and letters, but rather being able to communicate, follow instructions, and work cooperatively with other children. These skills seem to be best acquired in preschools that are developmentally and play oriented. Finally, while maturation plays a role in the attainment of schooling skills, the child's experience is also an important contributor.

A true assessment of school readiness, therefore, must always take account of the child's level of intellectual and social/emotional development, his or her experiential background, and the classroom expectations the child will encounter." 

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SUPPORT FROM BRAIN RESEARCH

 

Suzanne Gellens, in her book, Activities that Build the Young Child's Brain (Early Childhood Association of Florida), lists the ideas that early childhood professionals have known for years and are now confirmed by recent brain research:

    • Every situation is a learning experience

   • Children need to be nurtured and have physical contact with other people

   • Children learn through their interactions with people and the environment

   • Play is an essential component to learning

   • Hands-on activities result in life-long learned skills

   • When a child has a choice in selecting its own activities, involvement is increased

   • All children's senses need to be stimulated in an enriched atmosphere

   • Activities presented to children should match their stage of development and their interest level

   • There should be a balance between activity and rest; quiet learning and active learning

   • Children need a loving, stress-free environment for optimal learning to occur. From ExchangeEeveryDay:3/12/2004

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CHILDREN ARE NEVER TOO YOUNG TO LEARN A SECOND LANGUAGE...

Infants as young as 4 months who live in bilingual environments can distinguish between two languages, monitoring lip and facial movements.  Babies also show a strong preference for the language their mother spoke during pregnancy.
 
Contrary to conventional wisdom, bilingual children are not delayed in language acquisition.  In fact, words learned before age 5 have an added emotional kick, regardless of how many languages are learned.  Because the child's brain is developing so quickly, across so many regions, the words learned during this critical period carry thick visual and emotional associations....

Bilingualism enhances attention and cognitive control in kids and adults. Also bilinguals are better at learning additional languages, even if those languages bear little resemblance to the ones they already know.
Source: Psychology Today (October 2010; psychologytoday.com)

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WHAT KIND OF BOOKS DO KIDS LIKE???

FOUR TO SIX AGE bracket:
Buy books that combine bright, interesting pictures with a story line that keeps children interested. Popular books for young children include books with stories about families and day-to- day events. This is because children enjoy associating what they read with their own lives.

SCHOOL-AGE:
They can't wait to learn how to read. They still enjoy having someone read to them, but they will be ready to try out their own skills. Some stories they usually like are about adventures, mysteries, and fantasy.

OLDER YOUTH:
Reading well on their own want to read books that are longer and have a subject matter that keeps them entertained for long periods of time. The Harry Potter books are of course some of the most requested books in the children's literature market today.

Other themes of books that older children will appreciate are books where the protagonist solves a problem through the mastery of personal power. These types of books appeal to older children since it gives them a feeling of self control and personal growth. Of course, youth may not think of what they read in such a way, but they will still be reaping the benefits of positive and well written literature.

Also check out Tips in Reading to/with your child...

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 LAYING THE PATH TO MATH

Studies show that children who play with unit blocks in early childhood do better in algebra in middle school. But it’s important to note that the outcome of playing in the block area is NOT demonstrated until middle school! Math standards during the early years will automatically focus on low level, rote skills: memorization, repetition,  and adult views of math knowledge. What makes this most destructive is that young children are operating within Piaget’s preoperational stage, which means they cannot think logically. Thus, bureaucrats creating standards and assessment often include things that children this age simply cannot even do....

"Math knowledge and dispositions are not created in a vacuum. Math is about manipulating things: objects, shapes, concepts, and relationships; reproducing and documenting the world; and constructing, building, and estimating....Thus, we must provide a myriad of opportunities for young children to have direct, concrete experiences in the real world.

What is the value of discussing the speed of light if you don’t understand light? Seeing snow accumulate day after day is a real way to understanding increase in quantity. Carrying a large boulder teaches about mass; swinging on a rope about force, angles, and speed. Field trips, extensive classroom m projects, exploration in nature, extensive use of the playground, observing the weather, etc., must all be central to our math curricula."

These exerpts are from the article: "Math in Early Childhood," by Francis Wardle (www.ChildCareExchange.com)

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NUTRITION AND FOOD RELATED NEEDS

HOW DO YOU KNOW IF CHILDREN ARE GETTING THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF FOODS?

MyPyramid.gov -- the government's food guidance system suggested servings are based on age, gender, and activity level. The examples below illustrate how school-age children's needs differ.

A 6-year-old, active girl every day needs:

• 5 ounces from grain group
• 2 cups from vegetable group
• 1 1/2 cups from fruit group
• 3 cups from milk group
• 5 ounces from meat and beans group
• 5 teaspoons oils.

An 11-year-old, active boy needs this every day:

• 7 ounces from grain group
• 3 cups from vegetable group
• 2 cups from fruit group
• 3 cups from milk group
• 6 ounces from meat and beans group
• 6 teaspoons oils.

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CALCIUM THE BONE BUILDER!

To build a strong, healthy skeleton that will last a lifetime, kids should be sure to "bone up" on calcium. From ages 11-24, children have the opportunity to maximize their bone density, filling their bones to "peak capacity." The best sources of calcium are lowfat dairy products like yogurt, nonfat/1% milk and lowfat cheese, calcium-fortified soy milk and tofu, calcium-fortified orange juice, sardines or salmon with bones and broccoli.

NEW RECOMENDATIONS FOR DIETARY CALCIUM 

AGE               Recommended Calcium (milligrams) 
1-3 Years       500
 
4-8 Years       800
 
9-18 Years     1300
 
19-50 Years    1000

51+ Years      1200  

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INVOLVE CHILDREN IN FOOD ACTIVITIES

Children learn important nutrition concepts through daily experiences involving food. Shopping for food, comparing labels, taste testing new foods, cooking, creating simple recipes and analyzing food ads are just a few of the many ways kids can begin to discover the wonderful world of food!

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PEER TEACHING ACTIVITIES...

 In Debra Viadero's article "Peer Tutoring's Potential to Boost IQ Intrigues Educators" in the October 3, 2007 issue of Education Week, she writes that "over 30 years' worth of studies of elementary-level peer-tutoring programs suggests that---
both the tutor and the tutee learn better when they teach each other than they do in regular teacher-led classrooms."

 

Another study indicated that peer teaching activities result in nonacademic benefits such as students staying longer on task, exhibiting improved social skills and expressing more motivation than children in teacher-directed classrooms.
From schoolage note of the day Dec. 11, 2007

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EXERCISE AND ACADEMIC SUCCESS

April 10,2008-
Printed in ExchangeEveryDay 

With schools in the United States CUTTING BACK ON PHYSICAL EDUCATION in order to meet the goals of "No Child Left Behind", studies are starting to show that this is A MOVE IN THE WRONG DIRECTION. For example, a study involving 163 overweight children in Augusta, Georgia, reported in Education Week (February 13, 2008;  supports the cognitive benefits of exercise:

"... a cross-disciplinary research team randomly assigned children to one of three groups. One group received 20 minutes of physical activity every day after school. Another group got a 40-minute daily workout, and a third group got no special exercise sessions.

"After 14 weeks, the children who made the greatest improvement as measured by a standardized academic test and a test that measured their level of executive function 'thinking processes that involve planning, organizing, abstract thought, or self-control' were those who spent 40 minutes a day playing tag and taking part in other active games designed by the researchers. The cognitive and academic gains for the 20-minute-a-day group were half as large." 

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NEGATIVE IMPACT OF EXCESSIVE TV WATCHING

According to the TRUCE
(Teachers Resisting Unhealthy Children's Entertainment) website(www.truceteachers.org), excessive TV watching can have a negative impact on both the academic performance and health of children.

 

Children who watch a lot of television and movies spend less time reading, have shorter attention spans, and their vocabulary is not as highly developed. They are also more overweight since they tend to snack obsessively while watching television. They see food in ads and programs that promote unhealthy eating choices, and they tend to exercise less." TRUCE recommends encouraging families to limit the amount of television that children watch (to 1 hour per day for example).
 
As alternatives to television:
Visit the library and attend library sponsored activities; Go for walks; Read books and tell stories together; Have a family game night; Do puzzles; Make sure TV snacks are healthy; Eat together as a family without TV; Resist junk food advertised on television.

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OTHER PAGES THAT MY INTEREST YOU...

•Cheering on your child...(As in promoting good sportsmanship)
•Some wonderful ways to connect with our kids!     •Stamp Out Sibling Rivalry     •Tips in Reading to/with your child 

For a great variety of other tip pages check out the Category List on the left hand side of each page...look under articles!

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You are your children's biggestand most important cheerleader. Whether they're competing in a sport or performing in a theater production or music group, your presence is a key way to support your children. But the way you are present also makes a difference in the way your children feel about you, themselves, and the activities they are in. Consider these ideas:

  • Attend as many of your children's games and performances as you can. Kids notice when you're there and when you're not.

  • Focus on supporting your child and the other kids there. If you're overly competitive, ask yourself why winning is more important to you than supporting the kids who are involved. I

  • Point out what you liked about your child's performance. The more specific you can be, the better. For example, say, "I enjoyed hearing your trumpet parts in the band, or "I am so proud of you for blocking that kick."

  • Invite other significant adults in your child's life to games and performances. Consider occasionally inviting grandparents, aunts, uncles, neighbors, and other important adults.

  • When you take photos or record your child's game or performance, also remember to put down the camera and cheer! It's important to be fully present in the moment, and one way to do that is to set technology aside so that you can witness firsthand your child's achievements.

  • Ask your kids periodically what they like about their sport (or-activity). Ask what they have fun doing or learning-and if there is anything they'd like to change if they could.
Source: MVParents.com

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GOOD WEBSITE! MVParents.com
Involved Parents Are the Real Heroes:
All parents want to be "Most Valuable Parents" who help their children and teens make smart choices and avoid pitfalls of growing up. Unlike advice sites, MVParents.com is a trusted, research-based resource with tips, ideas, and strategies for raising smart, strong, responsible kids.

Parents can get positive, proactive, and down-to-earth guidance on how to respond to the changes and challenges of parenting in positive, healthy ways. Topics include underage drinking, family volunteering, curfews, school success, juggling work and family, and much more. A good website!!! http://www.mvparents.com/

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TIP for Parents: Visit the Child Development Category  and Thought of the Month  (Articles on such topics such as Whining and Cursing)

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STAMP OUT SIBLING RIVALRY (Yes, it's possible!)

You find your kids practically coming to blows over who got more cream cheese on their bagel, and you can't help but think: There is just no way to avoid sibling rivalry. Well, if the goal is to avoid it entirely, then you might be right, says John Rosemond, author of The New! Six-Point Plan for Raising Happy, Healthy Children (Andrews McMeel Publishing).

Want to (almost) keep the peace? Put these strategies to work in your house.
 
1. Resist the urge to rush in, because "when you intervene, you're likely to identify one child as the villain and one as the victim." The obvious problem: It takes two to squabble, and you may be unfairly maligning one kid. The not-so-obvious problem: You're creating a dynamic that will quickly become a self-fulfilling prophecy. "If that victim gets attention for being a victim, he's going to continue to elicit that villain behavior from his brother or sister," Rosemond says. Instead, let them work out squabbles themselves. The only caveat? If your younger child is 3 years old or under, or you sense either child is in physical danger, by all means play ref.

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2. Don't compare siblings to one another... You probably know not to say, "Why can't you be more like your sister?" But it's a common mistake to compare kids in even more subtle ways (Example: "Julie, look at how nicely your brother is playing with those puzzles"). It's fine to praise one child's unique skills, says Rosemond. Just make sure you don't have a hidden agenda -- like getting Julie to stop hurling puzzle pieces across the room.

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3. Be a super model... You and your spouse provide a powerful example of how two family members should speak to each other. "If the kids see you arguing and calling each other names, it's hard to get across the message: We don't do that in this family," points out Rosemond. So play nice with your sweetie, and who knows? You just might hear less bickering from the playroom.

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4. Give each kid space... You know the famous line by Robert Frost about how fences make good neighbors? Well, imaginary lines (in the car, in a shared bedroom, and so on) make good siblings. To avoid turf wars, "the ideal situation is for each child to have his own clearly-defined space," stresses Rosemond. If you can't spare a bedroom, give each child his own desk or toy chest in their communal space. Rosemond says that doing this will give each child "a sense that this territory is mine."

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5. Don't insist on shared play dates... Sure, it would be easy if your 7-year-old could take your 4-year-old under her wing whenever she has a pal over. But asking older kids to always include younger ones on play dates and fun outings creates serious resentment on the part of the older child (and risks embarrassment in front of friends). Plus, there's another reason to steer clear of making the older child the de facto babysitter: Having private friend time means the older child is more likely to play nicely with the younger one when no peers are around. And to keep the left-out child content, plan a fun alternate activity, or give the greatest treat of all: one-on-one time with you.  Adapted from Lisa Lombardi Real Families 

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A PRACTICAL SHARING IDEA

 When two children are splitting a candy bar, piece of cake, pie or whatever... have one child cut it as evenly as possible--and have the other child  first choose what side they take. Alternate 'splitter' and 'first chooser'.  (This is what I did/do and it works every time! Barb)

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 Part Four: Health and Food Related...Timely and short tips and articles are a 'good thing' to occasionally post in parent newsletters. (A good way to provide valuable information.)

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THE EFFECT OF SECOND HAND SMOKE
An Australian study reported in the March issue of Indoor Air found that PARENTS WHO SMOKE OUTSIDE THEIR HOUSE ARE STILL EXPOSING their children to the HARMFUL EFFECTS OF PASSIVE SMOKING. The study found that the levels of respirable suspended particles, including nicotine, were significantly higher in houses where smokers lived than in smoke-free homes --even if the parents only smoked outside.

Lead author of the study, Dr Krassi Rumchev of Curtin University of Technology, says the findings indicate that the level of passive smoking by children at home may be underestimated, as those whose parents smoked outside were exposed to levels of environmental tobacco smoke high enough to cause harm. "According to the study, smoking outdoors seems inadequate to protect children," Rumchev says. "The results demonstrate clearly that if parents want a smoke-free environment for children, they need to stop smoking."

She adds that children were more likely to have respiratory illnesses including asthma, coughs, and colds than those in tobacco-free households. She says smokers appear to disperse pollutants into the home when returning inside. "When people come inside they're still breathing out smoke and it contaminates the air. It's enough to do harm," Rumchev says. "Nicotine attaches to the hair and body, and pollutants are dispersed into the air off clothes, because small particles can attach to clothes."

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USING FOOD AS A REWARD OR PUNISHMENT

Try not to use food to punish or reward children.
Withholding food as a punishment may lead children to worry that they will not get enough food. For example, sending children to bed without any dinner may cause them to worry that they will go hungry. As a result, children may try to eat whenever they get a chance. Similarly, when foods, such as sweets, are used as a reward, children may assume that these foods are better or more valuable than other foods. For example, telling children that they will get dessert if they eat all of their vegetables sends the wrong message about vegetables. Source: webmd

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KID TESTED LUNCH TIME TIPS!

   • Make food fun by cutting sandwiches into different shapes. Cookie cutters are great for this.
 
   • In hot weather, keep foods cool by including a carton or plastic container of juice, frozen overnight, in the. The juice will be thawed by lunchtime.
 
   • Pack 'kid-size' foods like cherry tomatoes, baby bananas, and mini boxes of raisins.
 
   • You can control what goes into your child's lunch box, but you can't control what goes into your child. Send your kids to school with a lunch they like and one they've helped prepare and pack;  they'll be less likely to toss or trade it.
 
   • Rely less on processed, packaged foods--replace them with fresh foods whenever possible.
 
   • Remember that kids can be influenced by peer pressure. Foods they love at home might be not-so-cool at school. Ask them what types of foods their friends bring for lunch.
 
   • Most kids will skip foods that take a lot of effort to eat. A little prep work can make almost anything more kid-friendly. For example, peel Clementine's and oranges; cover them with plastic wrap before packing.

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BREAKFAST!

Bet on Breakfast: Mornings can be chaotic, leaving breakfast and better nutrition in the lurch. Nicklas' research bears that out. Kids who eat breakfast take in more of the nutrients they need, she says. Breakfast skippers do not make up for the missed opportunity the morning meal provides.

What you eat for breakfast matters. Cereal (particularly whole-grain types) with milk and fruit make a quick meal that offers an array of nutrients.

Cereal can be good for the waistline, too. A recent Journal of the American Dietetic Association study that followed more than 2,300 girls from ages 9 and 10 found that girls who continued to eat cereal on a regular basis for 10 years were leaner than girls who did not eat it. Eating cereal was linked to increased intake of fiber, calcium, iron, folic acid, vitamin C, and zinc, and decreased consumption of cholesterol and fat.

Other Than Cereal
There's no need to limit breakfast foods to traditional choices such as cold cereal, however. The following healthy, kid-friendly breakfasts will beckon kids to the table (many are portable feasts to eat on the way to school or during morning snack time):
 
   • Half a whole grain bagel, spread with peanut butter and topped with raisins; milk 
   • Leftover pizza and 100% orange juice 
   • 8 ounces low-fat fruited yogurt, whole grain toast and 100% juice 
   • Fruit and yogurt smoothie and whole-grain toast 
   • Scrambled egg stuffed into half a whole-grain pita pocket and topped with shredded cheddar cheese and salsa or ketchup with 100% juice 
   • Waffle sandwich: two whole grain, toasted waffles spread with almond, peanut or soy nut butters with milk. SOURCE:webmd.com

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INVOLVE CHILDREN IN FOOD ACTIVITIES

Children learn important nutrition concepts through daily experiences involving food. Shopping for food, comparing labels, taste testing new foods, cooking, creating simple recipes and analyzing food ads are just a few of the many ways kids can begin to discover the wonderful world of food!

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 KIDS IN THE KITCHEN  How do you get kids to buy into good nutrition? Getting children involved in food choice and preparation is one of the best Giving kids a say in what they eat encourages the autonomy they crave.

 Allow your child some veto power in the supermarket. For example, let your child choose between bananas and kiwis, or oatmeal and Cheerios. At home, encourage your children to prepare healthy brown-bag lunches and easy snacks.

Gather as often as possible for family meals, particularly when your child has been involved in making them. Research shows dining together without distractions -- including the TV -- translates into a better diet and lower chance of overeating, says Economos. Plus, it gives you and your child a chance to talk. Of course, family meals are often easier said than done! Source: webmd.com

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 HOW DO YOU KNOW IF CHILDREN ARE GETTING THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF FOODS? MyPyramid.gov --- the government's food guidance system suggested servings are based on age, gender, and activity level. The examples below illustrate how school-age children's needs differ.

A 6-year-old, active girl every day needs:

   • 5 ounces from grain group 
   • 2 cups from vegetable group 
   • 1 1/2 cups from fruit group 
   • 3 cups from milk group 
   • 5 ounces from meat and beans group 
   • 5 teaspoons oils.

An 11-year-old, active boy needs this every day:

   • 7 ounces from grain group 
   • 3 cups from vegetable group 
   • 2 cups from fruit group 
   • 3 cups from milk group 
   • 6 ounces from meat and beans group 
   • 6 teaspoons oils.

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CALCIUM THE BONE BUILDER!

To build a strong, healthy skeleton that will last a lifetime, kids should be sure to "bone up" on calcium. From ages 11-24, children have the opportunity to maximize their bone density, filling their bones to "peak capacity." The best sources of calcium are lowfat dairy products like yogurt, nonfat/1% milk and lowfat cheese, calcium-fortified soy milk and tofu, calcium-fortified orange juice, sardines or salmon with bones and broccoli.

NEW RECOMENDATIONS FOR DIETARY CALCIUM 

AGE               Recommended Calcium (milligrams) 
1-3 Years       500
 
4-8 Years       800
 
9-18 Years     1300
 
19-50 Years    1000

51+ Years      1200

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THE BENIFITS OF FREQUENT FAMILY MEALS

Sharing frequent family meals can have many positive benefits for children and teens, including enhanced school performance, more healthful eating habits and reduced risk of substance abuse. The following information is from the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University .

Children and teens who have frequent family dinners:

• Are at half the risk for substance abuse compared with teens who dine with their families infrequently
• Are less likely to have friends or classmates who use illicit drugs or abuse prescription drugs
• Have lower levels of tension or stress at home
• Are more likely to say that their parents and families are proud of them
• Are likelier to say they can confide in their parents
• Are likelier to get better grades in school
• Are more likely to be emotionally content and have positive peer relationships
• Have more healthful eating habits
• Are at lower risk for thoughts of suicide...

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Remind Parents of this IMPORTANT Warm Weather Tip
Kids Playing Outside & Water Needs

 

 WHEN IT'S HOT OUTSIDE... and kids are playing sports—or even just actively playing—head off problems by making sure they drink fluids before, during and after activity.

As a guideline, encourage at least 4 ounces of fluid every 15-20 minutes, or whenever there’s a break or time-out. Tip: One ounce equals about one "gulp."  So kids need a minimum of 4 GULPS OF WATER EVERY 20 MINUTES!

 Use caution when it’s hot outside, especially for active kids. In high temperatures, kids don’t sweat as much as adults do, so it’s harder for them to cool off. This makes them more at risk for dehydration and heat exhaustion.

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The sections of 'Newsletter Category' are:

Click for the Entire Newsletter Category

Part 1. What to Put in Newsletters

Part 2. Prose, Poems and Cute items for Newsletters

Part 3. Timely Newsletter Topics to Connect Kids and Parents

Part 4. Newsletter Topics of Health and Food

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Does anyone have a 'Balance Center' in their classroom, program or home?

A wonderful idea for a program, classroom, or home with children is to include a "Balance Center." It's a "quiet and safe" area set aside for  times a child feels angry, tired, frustrated, overwhelmed, etc.

It works!

When working with (or having) children, one goal is for children to learn how to cope and manage feelings of anger, frustration and disappointment.

Often when children are a challenge, our reaction is to place them in time out--or to punish in some way. Using this tool is not for punishment, but a place for the child to regain control. At times a child may be directed to this spot--but the goal is for children to visit this area when needed.

When children loose control and are directed to this spot, once they "cool down," it would then be time to "talk" about the problem at hand. If a child is frustrated and visits on his own--then hooray! He's learning... The center itself however, is a "safe place" to aid children in keeping or regaining balance of feelings and emotions.

WHERE AND WHAT DO YOU PUT IN THE CENTER?

In a program or classroom, it can be tucked away in a corner or also used as your "quiet area". 

• In a home, find and choose a place with your child. Explain to them that when they are feeling tired, crabby, etc.-- to come to this "safe place" to recoup.

• Place large pillows and bean bag chairs. At the child's visual level, hang some posters/pictures that are calming, soothing--maybe an "Emotion Face" Poster.

• Place a basket with books (for young children use cloth and heavy board books), calming music with head phones, and a box filled with sensory items. Articles that are soft and squeezable, kooshy, textured, prickly, etc. are excellent!

• Also nice: a music box, mirror with handle, a snow globe, a rain stick, an etch-a sketch, and pad of paper and crayons. Anything that can be relaxing works well.

Decide with the children what to call this area.
Ideas are: Balance Center, Safe Place, Feel Good Place, Quiet Area, Happy Place, etc. Let them name it! It's a good place to be--NOT a place of punishment. Who wants to be good, when they don't feel good?

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(I recieved the note that is in the below comment area...Would also love to hear if you have one and how it works for you. Messages/notes can be sent via the contact page. Thank you, Barb)

What does it mean when you say, "I'm Sorry"?

Saying  "I'm sorry" is an act of apology.
It's telling someone you feel badly for hurting them in some way--for saying or doing something offensive --for breaking--pushing--being mean-- or not understanding how another feels. Sometimes it's on purpose--sometimes accidental.

That said...
When appropriate, WE WANT our children to sincerely feel sorry and apologize. We WANT them to take responsibility and ownership for their actions. In the real world this doesn't always happen.

Whether you're a parent or working with children - 
What do we do when Johnny hits Tommy?  Suzie takes away a toy? Joel tells Kyle he hates him?

Often without thinking an adult will say, "Say you're sorry!"

What if the child is NOT sorry?  He/she is still too angry, doesn't want to get into trouble, or is feeling defensive.  Making a child say they're sorry, when they are not, doesn't help the injured party feel any better nor does it teach the offending child a positive life lesson.

Do we want our child to grow up to be a person who says, "Well, I SAID I was sorry!" Making children say they are sorry only to satisfy an adult, or to not get into trouble, can create the habit of avoiding taking responsibility for actions.

So then, what can we do?

1.  Investigate. Find out what happened and what happened before that.

2.  If an apology and restitution is indicated--and the child does not sincerely apologize on their own--WE should say we are sorry.
            Example: 
          • Tommy, I am so sorry that Bill tore your picture. I can see it took a long time to make it.
          • The child with the hurt feelings and the torn picture hears words of empathy-he knows that someone understands how he feels. 
          • The offending child has the benefit of good role modeling. He has heard words of empathy.

2. Next, have the hurt child tell the other child how he feels.
          Example:
          • I feel bad that you tore my picture. It took me a long time to draw and color it.

3. If Bill says something such as--
         • "I'm  sorry I ruined it; it was wrong for me to do that"... you're on your way to a good conflict resolution!

4. Next ask Bill what he can do about it? Some ideas he may come up with or say are:
        • I can help tape it. 
        • We can do another one together
        • What can I can do to make it better?
The lesson here is for children to learn that some things are right and some are wrong. If wrong, we help children figure out what to do to fix it and/or what to do differently next time.

5. The above are some responses for which we hope. If the aggressor takes ownership, responsibility, and discusses alternative behavior, nothing more is needed.  If you need to talk to the aggressive child--be sure to send the other child away. (Privacy)

6. If you are working in a child care program, and the aggressor does not take responsibility nor discuss it, then the parent should be involved and/or a behavior notice step taken --whichever is indicated.

 A little more... October's Thought of the Month, "Don't ask Kids Why?"  ties in with this topic. Read both for a more complete thought. You may be surprised on why NOT to ask kids 'why'...

When a child misbehaves and is asked, "Why did you do that?" You may get a reason. When a reason is given--he/she may feel the behavior is validated. He/she may say-- I"m sorry BUT______which in essence is is giving a reason that blames another and does not taking ownership nor responsibility for actions.

    • He is saying, I'm sorry but he was bothering me.
    • I'm sorry but he was humming loud.
    • I'm sorry but he was looking at me funny.

When a child says, "I'm sorry BUT..." he is again not taking ownership but putting the blame on someone or something else.
This isn't an apology.

Barb Shelby

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