That Just Doesn't Work Here is a phrase that is all too common to avoid change. Other versions of this statement could be:

• The children in this program only want to_______

• My kids arent interested in anything else.

• It's different here.

•The older kids just want to sit and do nothing.

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Quality school-age programs are designed to meet the needs of  children. How can the activity in question be adjusted to meet those needs and interests? Consider the following statements. Can one of these be the reason That it Just Doesn't Work Here?

1. Same-old-same-old.

• Making a hanging skeleton at Halloween is fun if it's the first time, but is it still stimulating when you're in the fourth grade and you've made one every year?

2.  Not informing all the children of upcoming events, in a timely manner.

• Be sure all the children are aware of upcoming events.
• Advertise and inform in postings, newsletters, talks, in the daily schedule of events and information center.

3.  Failure to build excitement and anticipation! 

• Post and count down the days to the activity sign-up day. This builds anticipation.
• Staff needs to display enthusiasm for innovative endeavors to work.

4.  Not including the children in planning. Ask the kids what they want!

• Knowing what YOUR children like will ensure that they will want to attend your school-age program.
• Including children in planning also may encourage them to try new things.

 5.  Not getting to know YOUR kids!

• All children are unique. Building rapport with each child will help you plan a curriculum with their interests in mind. 
• Children may say that they only want to color, play outdoors or in the gym; however, getting to know them as individuals will help provide quality programming based on their individuality.

6. Failing to pre-plan.

• Pre-planning curriculum ensures that activities will be scheduled and facilitated as intended.
• Pre-planning allows for continuity with a variety of choices.
• Pre-planning lessens the likelihood of last-minute scrambling.
• Pre-planning allows staff time to organize materials and to have a say in what they do.

 7.  Not being ready before activities begin.

• Staff should understand the directions of the project.
• If an art or craft is involved, a pre-made sample is recommended. This sample is only a visual goal---which the children can adapt to their own personal vision.
• If possible, pre-test scientific experiments and cooking projects.
• All supplies and centers should be ready and set-up before any activity is scheduled to start.
• Not being ready causes:
  • Long transitions and waning enthusiasm.
  • Unnecessary stress.
  • Possibility of behavioral challenges due to waiting.

8.  An activity that is either too young for the older children or too challenging for the  younger child.

• Example: A game of Duck, Duck, Goose, would not appeal to most fifth graders.

9.  Activities or meetings that are held too long to sustain interest.

10. The #1 reason for a creative (or any) activity failing is the lack of consistent follow-through.

• If something such as a School-Age store is to be open the last Wednesday of each month, then it needs to be open on that scheduled day. 
• If a new and different Activity of the Week is to be scheduled each week, then that new activity must be on the agenda as promised. 
• If a club meeting is scheduled every Tuesday at 4:00…then that is when the club meeting is held.

Children lose faith and interest when planned events aren't held consistently. Nothing kills creative programming faster than failure to follow through with the proposed agenda. Consider then, how program structure may be leading to mistaken beliefs and assumptions such as: The children in this program only want to play in the gym or go outside! or...That Just Doesn't Work Here!

Barbara Shelby~Tip page published in school-age-note of the day, April 2007

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This Category is in response to those who have requested material for training and staff development...

It is a tool to help new caregivers with a smooth transition into the world of Child Care. It can also be utilized in the development of new directors or for continued professional growth.

The resource material on Kid Activities has been compiled from years of personal experience, professional observations, continuing program assessments, and in-depth interviews with lead caregivers and their assistants. (See About Barb)

This  page is only a sample of training tips and articles-- check the menu under "Articles"--and 'Behavior Management' for other pages that may be of interest.  You can scroll thru the few articles on this page-or click on the subject that interests you!

Wishing you happy days!
Barb Shelby

•Why is the Orientation Process Important? What should program managers consider?
•Do's and Don'ts of SchoolAge Care
•Discipline/Behavior Management is ChildCare Programs
•Don't MAKE Kids Say "Sorry"
•Don't Ask Kids "Why"
•Whining
•Cursing
•Does your Program Environment Say You're a Professional?
•Why Don't Some Kid's Activities Work?
•When Kids say "I'm Bored" with a List of SAC Ideas for Bored Kids
•Sharing Child Care Program Space
•Activities to Promote Competence and Self-Esteen
     Also-How to Praise a Child
•Ways to Thank Your Staff

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 In creating new staff orientation, ask yourself what you want to achieve?

   • One major goal should be to prepare child care staff to be productive and lessen the possibility of  feeling overwhelmed.

  • Striving to make newly hired caregivers comfortable will solidify new staff relations with your programs.

You may say that a training program is not feasible--it is not in the budget. Research demonstrates that good orientation programs can improve employee retention by 25% in fields with high turnover. Definitely something to consider!

Where do you start? 

The first step is to clearly define what is to be learned and why. Keep to the essentials and practical. Your new caregiver should receive a comprehensive 'Orientation Packe't containing your program philosophy, Parents Handbook and personnel policies. Including an introduction to duties expectations, safety, and basic behavioral management will ensure smooth workplace transitioning.

When programs employ a Trainer or Facilitator, orientation should also be individualized in accordance with information collected before training begins. Evaluate what knowledge staff has brought with them to the position, and what they need to know in performing their duties.

• Use examples, demonstrations, and illustrations on how provided material meets the trainee's needs. Keep it simple. Start with small steps, but include all information that is needed.

• Present training material that addresses various learning styles. Keep it interesting and include: Visual, Tactile/Kinesthetic, and Auditory Learners.

• To be effective, training needs to occur in regular measures; it should take place without interruptions or distractions.

•Light a Fire! Your best opportunity to do this is during the initial hiring or during orientation. Build enthusiasm and instruct new personnel to read all training material, before the first day of work. Effective training should be more than handing out information. Trainees should be prepared for on-site information exchange with their co-workers.

Coach new staff and give them the words to be observant and ask:

What would you like me to do now?  Can you talk to me about _____ so I can better understand.  Encourage new staff to question in a manner that does not make other Team members defensive. Exchanges and clarification should be non-critical.

    • Acclimate staff with a work site tour.

   • Discuss policies and introduce key personnel.

   • Point out where daily supplies are kept.

   • Inform new members of program routines.

   • Discuss practical methods for getting children's attention, accounting for all children and parental sign-out procedure.

   • Demonstrate the use of essential equipment such as message retrieval systems, etc.

   • Make sure caregivers understand what to do in an emergency.

Think of on-site training as continuing staff development for current staff. To be effective, training needs to be perceived as an ongoing, active process whose goal is to build a community in which active thinking and asking questions is comfortable. The goal is to achieve an environment which results in staff members who are open to growth in daily activities.Training should not only be viewed within the framework of supplemental readings and workshops--it needs to be a continuation where new and experienced staff are continue to learn and grow together!

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Because there may be resisiance to change-- Brain-storm with present workforce regarding specific ideas about what will work with YOUR programs. Caregivers may not take advantage of their role in training new staff unless they recognize it as fulfilling an important need. Established staff members should grasp the connection between mentoring and improving staff performance. Meet with all employees at a general staff meeting. Explain the benefits and importance of mentoring and coaching. Even with a Trainer employed, this is still a needed and important step. When all staff members are part of the orientation process:

•Workers will become a unified team.

•Programs will become stronger and run more efficiently.

•There will more consistency in both the programming and staff philosophy.

•There will fewer behavior challenges; children display self-control with people who are confident and competent.

KEEP IN MIND... Newly hired staff will be disappointed and confused if they find them selves at a site that does not follow the practices outlined in their orientation material. Your present workforce should know and follow the material that all newly hired employees receive. Before new orientation procedure begins, review with entire established staff, the material new employees are given. This could be done at a meeting held specifically for this purpose.

ALSO KEEP IN MIND...Teaching reinforces learning. The Best way to learn something is to teach it! Much learning is derived when staff members can observe other programs or caregiver styles.  Benefits are achieved when staff members are directed to note a particular method or procedure. Example: Specifically observing group meeting times or routine and play in the gym.

Further training can be supplemented by:

   • Sending staff to conferences where they will present to fellow staffers upon return.

   • Staff taking turns in coaching and mentoring new employees.

   • Coach later in the morning or at the end of the program when numbers of children are lower.

   • As budgeting allows, schedule paid on-site monthly meetings without administrative oversight, in addition to regularly held general staff meetings.

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While in the short term site mentoring will consume upfront time; in the long term, more time will become available as staff builds stronger skills and work productively on the same page.

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A POSITIVE APPROACH TO DISCIPLINE...
Try to remember...We are here to meet the children's needs--not for them to meet ours!!!

Once we understand that discipline has nothing to do with 'punishment' and it's all about helping children learn appropriate behavior--and the various ways to do it--we're on our way!

The word discipline means 'to teach'; disciples learn.
With discipline, our goal should be to help children become responsible and take ownership of their actions and behavior. It's helpful to remember that it's a lot easier to be good when we feel good!

A. CLARITY

1. State clear messages to the children if you want them to do something specifically. "Those toys belong there," is unclear-a clear message would be "Those toys belong on the bottom shelf, next to the blocks."

2. Give children choices, but only when you want them to make a choice. Many times we ask children a question even though they really have no choice. "Do you want to clean up now"? Is a good example of a statement that seems like the children have a choice-they have to clean up, because mom has arrived, or it's a transition time.

3. Do not add the word "O.K", or let your voice go up at the end of the statement. Again, this sounds like a question that gives the child choice. It also takes away the authority of your statement.
 
4. Make comments sound sincere. "You were really good today, is vague and may sound insincere. "I really liked the way you picked up the Legos and put them in the close, is specific and sounds sincere-it tells the child what you are thinking.

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B. LIMITS, BOUNDARIES, CHILDREN'S EXPECTATIONS AND CONSEQUENCES

2. Use a peace wall--- where rules, steps of conflict resolution, and community and self-esteem building posters are placed. Make sure the children know the rules---review them as needed. Remember to acclimate all new children. When needed take the children to the rules that need to be addressed.

3. Have a consistent routine so the children will know what is expected of them. Consistency gives children a feeling of control. Let the children know what will happen, 'when, during, before, after, and when there will be a change to the schedule or routine'.

4. Use natural and logical consequences when possible. Do not put a consequence in place that does not make sense, or is not related to the behavior.

A NATURAL CONSEQUENCE  itself is sufficient.
•If anything beyond understanding is spoken, it is punishment.
•If children don't eat their snack, and later come to you saying they are hungry, just say, "It is uncomfortable being hungry-soon you’ll have dinner at home.
•If you say, "I KNEW you'd be hungry!" as well as, "How many times do I have to tell you to eat!?"It's no longer a natural consequence but a punishment. They know they didn't eat--and that it's uncomfortable--maybe next time they'll eat.

LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES
Logical consequences make sense, and in some way are related to the behavior. Examples:
• Children drop beads they are stringing; they pick them up.
• A child tears up someone's paper craft; the child repairs it or helps make a new one.
• Someone stays at the computer 15 minutes too long; they lose 15 minutes.
• Paper on the floor--it is cleaned up.
• Child behaves inappropriately at the craft table or in the gym; after a warning, he/she leaves the area until they remember to follow the rule.
• Children run down the hall; they turn around, go back and walk.
• Spills drink; wipes it up.
Again, only apply the logical consequence. If any words are spoken such as, "How many times have I told you to be careful?!"  It is no longer a logical consequence, but a punishment.

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C. STAFF CONDUCT

Children remember more of what we do, than what we say. Eighty per cent of children's behavior is learned through observation of adult behavior (Albert Bandur-Social Learning Theory)

1. Follow the children's rules-model appropriate behavior in speech.
The following examples have actually been overheard at afterschool sites-- Refrain from comments such as:

• I needed to get drunk to get my ears pierced.
• I snuck into the movies, without paying.
• I need a cigarette (or drink).
• Say to a co-worker that a certain staff person (or parent) "drives me nuts".
• Gossip about anyone! You'd be amazed at what the children hear when we think they're not listening...

2. Model appropriate behavior in action.

• If the rule is "we use inside voices,"then use an inside voice.
• If then rule is "we eat and drink seated at a table"-then be sure not to walk around with your coffee cup or drink.
• With the rule being "we cover the table for messy projects", be sure you cover the table.

3. Be aware of your tone of voice and body language, when talking to children and staff. It is never appropriate to yell, use sarcasm, or belittle them. If you feel yourself getting angry, tell them you need a time out, and will talk to them when you have cooled down.
If you have lost your temper, tell the child you are sorry. You were angry, but it wasn't o.k. for you to talk to them like that. (For adults and children alike, it is o.k. to be angry, but handle it appropriately)

4. As a staff, be consistent to program philosophy and discipline methods. Be supportive of each other, otherwise the children do not have definite boundaries to work within. Lack of consistency often reflects arguing, tattle tales and name-calling.

5. Know child development!
Understand the general stages of the mixed ages, as well as being aware of each child's individuality.

According to Dr. Becky Bailey:

• Children see things in black and white--not shades of gray. They are literal. Being "Fair" is all important!
•Children do not incorporate the contraction "don't" into their cognitive development, until they are six or seven years old. When you say, "don't jump on the couch", they hear, "jump on the couch"! Tell the child what you want him to do-instead of what you don't want him to do. "We sit on the couch" is an example. Also, children hear the last words that are said. Don't sit on the couch---is heard as, "Sit on the couch.
•Children do not think in words until they are six or seven. He will not be able to think what he has done--if this cognitive process has not been added to his development.
•Understand what to expect of motor coordination in the mixed ages. Don't fault a child for not throwing/kicking within a designated area, if he does not have the gross motor ability.
•It may take 2000 repetitions, for a child to hear something, before it is cognitively developed. Keep reminding the children of the rules. According to Dr. William Glass, adults only remember 20% of what they've heard. How can we expect a child to remember with one or two comments?

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D. BEHAVIOR DO'S

1. When possible, try to ignore attention-seeking behaviors of whining, tattling, and tantrums, as long as no one is getting hurt, and all is safe.
When possible, give attention to appropriate behavior, by noticing, commenting and spending some one-on-one time with the child. Some unwanted behaviors might dissipate if we can ignore them long enough.
Incidents with verbal/physical abuse should never be ignored.

2. At times you will have a passive child. If the child is not looking for attention and doesn’t know how to be assertive when others are being physically/ verbally abusive, give him the words and help him build assertiveness skills.

When Tommy is upset that someone took his toy, ask if he liked what happened. (If he answers with a strong "NO!"--brainstorm with him to solve the problem.
If he says, "no" in a very quiet, passive voice, rehearse with him in saying, "I feel angry when you take my toys. Stop." If you don't rehearse exact words-the child will become confused during the confrontation.
You then go with Tommy to the other child. Tommy tells the other child, "I feel angry when you take my toys. Stop"
Staff person says, "Tommy has told you he feels angry when you take his toys, and to stop." "I'm here to make sure it doesn't happen again'.

3. Give the children a warning before transition time is put in place. Let the children know before they will need to stop playing or at other transitions.
 
4. Do not assume the challenging child is always the instigator/culprit-and the good child is the innocent one! Investigate.
Find out what happened previous to what you saw-and before that. 
Keep judgmental comments to yourself.

5. If you see a child doing something, do not ask if it happened. (A child hitting another child). Many times if backed into a corner a child will lie. If you saw a child do something-tell him you saw what happened.
 
6. Don't ask children "WHY" they did something.
Most of the time they don't know why.
The child giving you a reason validates the behavior. He gave you a reason-so this makes it O.K.
Asking "why" may tell the child you don't have a clue!
Whatever the problem -- implement appropriate behavioral management. Use redirection, natural or logical consequences, conflict resolution, the peace wall, removal from the area, or talking about the behavior.

7. Don't ever make children say they are sorry. At that point the child will most likely not be sorry.
Yes, we do want them to say, "I'm sorry" but on their own. 
It would not be a good trait to carry into adulthood, where all a person needs to do is say, "WelL, I SAID I was SORRY!" and everything is resolved.

•We should model and use appropriate words by first telling the aggressed child "we are sorry".
•What you do after investigating is to have the injured party tell the other child how he/she feels.
•If the aggressor takes ownership, responsibility, and discusses alternative behavior, nothing more is needed. If you need to talk to the aggressive child-send the other child away. (Privacy)
•If the aggressor does not take responsibility nor discuss it, then the parent should be involved and/ or a behavior notice step taken ---whichever is indicated.

8. If you are having problems of aggression with children, discuss how they will handle their behavior, prior to entering the problem play area. Do this until it is no longer needed.

9. Stay away from power struggles. Remember it takes two people to argue.
Stay calm and in control. We operate from the brain cortex when in control--when angry, this shifts to the limbic, where it is difficult to stay calm. Tell the children it is O.K. to be angry, and then help them find appropriate ways to cope with their frustrations.

10. It is not necessary to inform parents of every infraction. If the child has taken ownership/responsibility for minor problems--it has been resolved.

•If you involve the parents after children have taken responsibility, you are telling the children you do not trust them.
•If you need to talk with the parent for a more serious behavior challenge, explain to the child that you trust him/her and they are not in trouble with you. However, because it is serious, the two of you will talk to the parent together.

11. If you do need to talk to a parent, have the child present, and if possible have the child present the behavior issue.
If not present, children may think you are talking against them, behind their backs, or be concerned with parental anger issues.

12. When a child comes to you with a problem, do not automatically tell him what to do. It is our goal to empower the child and guide them towards self-discipline.

13. Learn Steps of Conflict Resolution.  An easy method to remember is ABCD.
Ask. Brainstorm. Choose. Do it!

•When generating ideas---have three to choose from. If all involved are not happy with the choice-- continue. You have not solved the problem until all parties are satisfied.

14. Staff must act consistently with each other for discipline techniques to be successful. It would be helpful for all staff to basically use the same words and routine at challenging times:
An example:

•First, make a warning statement to the child.
•Next, repeat the rule and clearly state the consequence that will result if the rule continues to be broken. "Tommy, I'm concerned that you're throwing the ball too hard. Someone is going to get hurt. Either throw more gently, or you will have to leave, and find something else to do."
•If difficulty continues, calmly tell the child to leave the area, and find something else to do; however, he is welcome back when he knows he can remember to ______! "Tommy, you're still throwing the ball too hard. It looks like you're having a hard time   remembering to be gentle. Go into the other room and find something else to do. When you know you can remember to throw it lighter, you’re welcome back to the gym."
•If he continues to behave inappropriately when/if he returns, he will have to leave the area for the day.
•If the child does not cooperate, the behavior must be discussed with the parent (with the child present). If this is an ongoing disruptive pattern, a written behavior notice is indicated.

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TIPS, IDEAS, Things to think about...

"START YOUR DAY WITH JOY!"

At the beginning of the school year introduce rules. For the first rule have...  'Enter the room with a smile!' Discuss how important it is to spread joy and it starts with them. Take pictures of  students smiling. Select different students weekly that are smiling and display them in an area of the hall. Donot tell them who will be selected as "Students of Joy!" for the week. Include classroom behavior for the month and smile before displaying their picture. You may also have other students take pictures if you have a digital camera." (Source:  Nell Clark, Computer Teacher  at teachnology.com )

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BEHAVIOR LABELING
By Dixie Fletcher

If an adult is reinforced for behaving appropriately we call it recognition.
If a child is reinforced for behaving appropriately we call it bribery.

If an adult laughs we call it socializing.
If a child laughs we call it misbehaving.

If an adult writes in a book we call it doodling.
If a child writes in a book we call it destroying property.

If an adult sticks to something we call it perseverance.
Of a child sticks to something we call it stubbornness.

If an adult seeks help we call it consulting.
If a child seeks help we call it whining.

If an adult is not paying attention we call it preoccupation.
Of a child is not paying attention we call it distractibility.

If an adult forgets something we call it absent mindedness.
If a child forgets something we call it attention deficit.

If an adult tells his side of a story we call it clarification.
If a child tells his side of a story we call it talking back.

If an adult raise his voice in anger we call it maintaining control.
If a chiild raises his voice in anger we call it a temper tantrum.
If an adult hits a child we call it discipline.
If a child hits a child we call it fighting.

If an adult behaves in an unusual way we call him unique.
If a child behaves in an unusual way we call him in for a
PSYCHOLOGICAL EVALUATUON.

For other poems, stories, quotes, click here...

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THE TALKING STONE or Stick (Use with Pre-K and up!)
Often during circle or group time, many children want to talk at once. One way to help children learn how to take turns is to use a visual clue. Teachers/caregivers might try using a "talking stick" or "talking stone". This is a tradition with some Native Americans. Hold your 'stick' or 'stone' while you speak and then pass it on when it's time for another person to talk.

You can use a colorful rock or decorate your stick in a special way. This technique helps young children learn to respect the speaker and to wait and listen. Continue with this idea and soon the children will be reminding each other.

This version is adapted from preschoolrainbow.org; however, I've used this method for the last 20 years when having group meetings with youth. I've made a "Talking Mouth" out of a rolled up pair of white socks and in the past used a stone and feather. It works!!! Until recently, I didn't know that it has Native American origin. It was something that I just thought of... 20 plus years ago! (Barb)

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THE BEGINNING WEEKS OF SCHOOL...

The first few days of school and after-school care-- should be spent getting acclimated to each other, learning class/ program rules, routines, and centers.

Activities should not be too long or too complicated until behavior management has been established. This doesn't mean you should not plan activities. In fact, 'overplan' to make sure there is enough material and things to do.

Also, make sure everything is prepared so you don't waste valuable time and lose children's attention. The first few weeks of school tend to be the hardest for both students and teachers, but remember that with time and practice a routine will be established!

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• Prepare the environment with their Lead/Director and provide suggestions to the younger for possible activities.

• Help the older children with designing and implementing projects and assist early adolescents in taking control over their own planning and implementation of activities and experiences.

• Participate as equals, rather than superiors, with the older children."

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OTHER TIPS...

1. Do interact and listen to the children as they arrive from school. This is when they have the greatest need to share their day with a special adult.

2. Do learn each child’s name and use it. Do smile!

3. Do get to know kids and to know YOUR kids.

4. Do avoid all but the briefest interactions with adults immediately after school. It should be a rule that adults--including parents, should talk to the caregivers before or after the arrival time of the children. At this time, center energy and attention on the children.

5. Whatever your staff position, do let other caregivers know if you need to leave the room for any reason; this is for safety reasons as well as for shifting personnel as needed.

6. Don’t yell at a child from across the room. Do go over and manage the problem. If necessary go to a private area to talk; this will help with any discomfort or embarrassment the child may experience.

7. Do always let your site supervisor know of any problems as soon as possible.

8. Don’t do the children’s work! Provide encouragement and support. Help break it into manageable parts and make sure they understand what you are doing so they will use that approach next time. If a child says they 'can't do something-ask them if they did know-how would they start?

9. Do allow the children to learn and grow with their own hands-on experience. When we take over a project or change it, we are telling the child it is not good enough.

10. Do not routinely sit with just one child coloring or playing a game; our caregiver ratio is not low enough to allow us to play with only one child. If a child can’t find someone to start a game, you may begin and then try to get others to join. Once a group gets going, stay only if the children need you for rules, etc. When the numbers are down, you may certainly play one on one.

11. Do be aware of the rest of the room when you are playing or working with a group; keep ahead of potential problems.

12. Do not ever let a child be verbally or physically aggressive towards another child.

13. Do learn to tell a child you were wrong or sorry, when or if you made a mistake; be sincere with your apology.

14. Do observe for the isolated or wandering child who struggles with personal interactions. We can give children words and help them start out in a game where others will join. Do discuss this child with your Lead caregiver.

15. Do allow children to daydream or do nothing. We all need time to daydream!

16. Do use common sense as to how many play areas are open at the same time. There should always be several options from which the children can choose; however, if you are offering a messy craft, it may NOT be a good time to also have the dramatic play area open.

17. Do remind the children to clean up the “old”---before starting the “new”. Do help them in learning to put away as they go along.

18. Do always have a tray or paper under all messy projects when using glue, glitter, etc. Model appropriate behavior and remember to do this yourself! It demonstrates courtesy and respect for property.

19. Do show an example of the finished craft activity when possible. This builds enthusiasm as well as giving a visual goal. ALWAYS let the children know that yours is just an idea; it is THEIR project and they can make it look any way they choose. There is a difference between an art and a craft. With a craft, there is a finished product to achieve. With art, it is the process that is stressed and NOT the finished product.

20. Do be aware if you are promoting gender-bias. Don’t have all-boy/all-girl line-ups or encourage stereotypical games and stories. Present sports, science, and math play, as well as music, dance and art to boys and girls alike.

21. Do embrace diversity in your program. This includes: gender, ability levels, ethnicity, culture, language, body shape, hair/eye color, ideas, family structure, religion, etc.

Appreciate the differences in everyone!

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By Barbara Shelby ~Training, Program Assessments and Consulting (From Training Series)

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Having any problems with your shared space? Yes or No? The considerations below are sure to help build a foundation that will form a powerful relationship!

 1. Children's Program Staff: First, look at things from the perspective of the community with whom you share space. Some concerns the host building may have are:

• Program keeps children safe and healthy.
• Children will not be disruptive while others are in the building.
• Program rules will be consistent with building rules.
• Staff is capable of handling problems and emergencies.
• Staff is able to resolve conflicts and behavior problems.
• Program has access to own supplies.
• Staff and families appreciate the sharing of space.

2. Administrators: Recognize that the community may have individualized ideas on the operation of children's  programs. Address any potential barriers up front:

• Expectations of host building community.
• Expectations for program needs. Expectation of program staff.
• Expectations of program families.
• Share as much information about the program's operations as possible.http://www.kidactivities.net/category/Connecting-to-Family-Ideas.aspx

          • Written Program Philosophy and Mission Statement.

           • Curriculum

            • Staff qualifications/job description. 

           • A solid staff Orientation.

          • On-going staff development.

          •  Licensing requirements.

3. Because they can make or break a program, when working with principals, teachers, administrative assistants, building engineer, cafeteria staff and media center:  

• Recognize that everyone needs time to adjust.
• A good relationship begins with communication. Inquire as to how building staff likes to maintain contact.
  • Do they prefer E-mail, notes, or a scheduled appointment? Is it alright to casually drop in?
• Watch verbal and non-verbal communication.
  • Greet all; be courteous and respectful; be friendly, warm, and sincere.
• Demonstrate appreciation; show signs and tokens of appreciation often.
  • Verbally - simple courtesy goes a long way.
  • Cards and notes
  • Children making and delivering small crafts and gifts.
  • Remember special days of recognition. (secretary, custodian, cafeteria)
  • Whenever a kindness, service, or recognition is received.
  • No special reason at all!
• When needed-apologize. Also say "Thank you for your time. I can see how busy you are!"

4. Work towards becoming part of the building TEAM.

• Join the PTA/PTO.
• If your building has a weekly/monthly breakfast--sign up and share.
• Adopt school philosophies and activities into your scheme when possible.
  • Community Service and Random Acts of Kindness.
  •  School rules, limits, and boundaries.
• Have program open for Meet the Teachers nights.
• Volunteer and offer care for an evening special event.
• Volunteer to work school fair, carnival, etc. Is there time where you can occasionally volunteer in classrooms to help with reading or parties?
• Think of ways to involve school staff in your program; ask teachers to share talents, hobbies, or skills with your program.
• Invite building staff to YOUR events.
• Have youth as a group - sign up and perform for school variety/talent shows.
• Provide a surprise pastry or fruit table in the building lounge. Have children make cards and place them on the teachers' room doors announcing the random surprise!
• Consider sending out a survey to each teacher asking them to describe their classroom routine and homework policy. Include a note of intention to support their policies; it just may change everything!
• Learn names of building personnel and use them.

5. Trust and Respect is the foundation for building powerful relationships.

• Master the ins and outs of your workplace protocol!!!
  • What are the building rules for play in gym; rules for outside play? 
  • Which areas can you freely use? Which need permission to use? 
  • What are the procedures for use of video/DVD equipment, copy machines, FAX , etc.? 
  • Can you freely post on the walls and personalize your space?  
  • What are the rules about children in halls and other rooms? 
• Inform newly hired staff of building policies in their orientation. 
• Show respect and care for the areas you use. Create an attractive and well thought-out environment.
  • Keep area neat and organized.
  • Return furniture and belongings to former spaces.
  • Cover table tops when working with potentially messy projects.
  • Sweep and pick up work areas.
  • Return building supplies when used. 
  •  Report any mishaps regarding building property

6. Shout from the rooftops, "Here we are---we are great! See all we do!!!"

• Submit event articles and accomplishments to your school newsletter and local paper.
• In areas that are viewed by building staff, maintain updated information centers, bulletin boards,
  murals and activity posters.
• Supply teachers, lounge area, and office with copies of newsletters.
• Each day, use a white board /black board; write out schedule and activities.
• Have constructive conversations with key people with whom you are building trust.
• Mend past misunderstandings.
• Provide children with a variety of stimulating activities that address the mixed ages and their individual needs!
• Raise awareness of your program; publicize it to build recognition and support.

The children themselves are the greatest source of publicity in promoting good will between your program and the host site! Happy and enthusiastic children, who anticipate attending Out-of-School-Time Care, Build a Strong Bridge!

Tip! Read the Discusion on this topic...there is an interesting thread that followed this paper...It is 'Reader Advice" to those with difficulty or problems in Sharing Space and  Building  Bridges.  Barb

Tip! To Connect Families and Staff Click Here for Activity Ideas!

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Barbara. Shelby
Training, Program Assessment & Consulting

Who doesn't know a child or two who whines?! This is one of the most prevalent irritants to adults, as well as one of the most simple to handle. With some children, it can become a major issue.

 Whining develops into a habit because it gets attention. It's a learned behavior. It's most prevalent from ages two to four, but can last longer. Children have needs and whining can develop as a communication form to get those needs met. How long it lasts depends on how the adults in the child's life handle it. 

 Some Quick Tips:

How do we take care of it?  By simply refusing to respond to it.

• If a child is not ill or suffering from a speech impediment or handicap that makes it difficult to speak--ignore it! If the whining child's basic needs are being met, tell the child you will not respond to whining.

• Most children will stop when you say something such as, "I can't understand you unless you talk to me." "Tell me what you want". Or "I don't like it when you talk to me like that. If you want a cookie, say it like this..." Then model the exact tone and words you want the child to use.

• In severe cases, you may need to tell a child to go and whine in another room and when they are ready to talk, you'll be happy to listen to them. On a personal note, I've had the experience with one child (grandchild, age 3) who got into the habit of whining. When she started speaking to me, I calmly said, "I want to hear your 'Sarah voice'-not the whining voice." In this case, it worked after the third reminder. I seldom hear the whine anymore. Sarah (not real name) learned the difference between a whining tone and a regular speaking tone. (We also need to be good role models ourselves--and keep the whine out of our own voices!)

Give tons of attention when behavior is appropriate. Kids crave attention-and they quickly learn what works to get it! Give attention to appropriate and positive behavior, not to behavior that is undesirable!
Barb Shelby

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You may also be interested in  Building a Child's Self-Esteem  which also incudes "How to Praise a Child"...

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 Cursing among kids is more prevalent today than ever before! In a recent survey, four out of five teachers said that student's behavior was worse than ever; children as young as three are using bad language. Fortunately, it is a problem that can be addressed in your home, program or classroom.

 • Keep your cool when kids use bad words. Think for a moment before responding. Children are finding their place in the world. They are going through...What can I do? What can't I do? (And even...What can I get away with?) Some children may curse to see what kind of a reaction they will get from you. Even a very young child who doesn't know the meaning of the word may simply use it because it is known to shock adults. It may also have received attention in the past.

 • If you stay calm and control your reaction, you take away the shock value of the swear word and render it ineffective. The young child may forget the incident and entirely forget the word. If the child is older, calmly but firmly say "It's not Ok to use that word here."

• Make a game of it and offer alternatives! After isolating the word(s) used, encourage children to think of appropriate alternatives. Start off with some substitutes; you can say words such as "shoot!" "darn" "phooey"... Next challenge the child to come up with other alternatives. This is especially effective if the child is cursing from frustration and trying to express an emotion. If this is the case, say I see that you're upset, but the word you used bothers people. Hopefully you'll be hearing "fudge" or "rats" in the future!

• If your are working with children and none of this works -- and the words continue in the future, tell the child you will need to talk to their parent about the inappropriate language. This consequence in itself may squash the verbiage.

•  If you are a parent, silence the source. Make a point of setting up 'house rules' where everyone must use acceptable vocabulary in front of the kids. Children model the language and behavior of those around them-be sure your home is a haven of words you want your child to use.

 • If the words are coming from television or video games-consider censoring what is being watched and played. You can activate your TV's V-chip-as well as control computers. Is it coming from a friend or school? Talk to the child's teacher or parent.

•  Reward positive behavior by noticing when a child stops cursing. When you hear a 'substitute' word being used instead of the 'real' word,'  notice it and remark "Ahh, you didn't use the bad word--good for you." Receiving attention for appropriate behavior  goes far in reinforcing change.

 • As a side note-also watch for children using words such as stupid, dumb, gay, retarded, etc. when referring to people! These words are also inappropriate and extremely mean and hurtful! Teach children they are NOT OK to use...

Barb Shelby

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