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Halloween Jokes

June 29, 2009 16:55 by Barbara Shelby


What kind of mistakes do spooks make?
Boo boos.

When is it bad luck to meet a black cat?
When you're a mouse.

What's the first thing ghosts do when they get in a car?
They boo-kle their seatbelts.

What did the Kleenex say to the nose?
Put a little boogie in it!

What do the birds sing on Halloween?
Twick or tweet!

Why do mummies make good employees?
They get all wrapped up in their work.

Why are there fences around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in.

Monster#1: Can you lend an ear?
Monster #2: Yes, but I’ll need it back

How do Monsters like movie stars?
Medium Rare.

What do witches put on their hair?
Scare spray

What is a Mummy’s favorite type of music?

What type of dog do vampire's like the best?

What do you call a fat Jack-O-Lantern?
A plumpkin

What happened to the man who didn't pay his exorcist?
He was repossessed.

What do ghosts say when something is really neat?

Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
He had no guts.

What's it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It's a pain in the neck.

Why don't skeletons like parties?
Because they have no body to dance with.

What's a ghost's favorite color?
Light Boo.

What do you call a skeleton who won't work?
Lazy bones.

Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
Because everyone was a goblin!

Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No Body.

What do you call a friendly dead Egyptian?
A chummy mummy.

How does a witch tell time?
She looks at her witch-watch.

What do ghosts serve for dessert?
Ice Scream.

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•School & Computers

•Crossing the Road

•Food Jokes

•Animals: Cats, Dogs, Elephants, Variety


•Sports:  Baseball-Football-General

•Jokes Insects, Fleas, Flies, Spiders

•Jokes: Weather, Flowers & Gardens, Birds, Bees, Frogs


•Patriotic (Labor Day, Memorial Day, Flag Day, Fourth of July, Patriotic Theme, Uncle Sam, Presidents Day)



•All Winter time Jokes: Good All Winter, Reindeer, Christmas


•St. Patrick’s Day


•April Fools Day

•Knock-Knock Jokes